The Circle of Jerks
by Chandlure Trainez
Summary: PWP. The Straw Hat boys have sessions of... stress relieving. There are no pairings per say except for the hint of Zoro/Sanji


_Warnings: Teenage boy **Masturbation. **_

_The Circle of Jerks_

If it weren't for the mornings after when Usopp woke, groggy, hung over and wishing for sweet death, or at the very least a captain who knew how to keep his mouth shut for more than five seconds, he wouldn't mind the evenings before quite so much. As much as one might otherwise believe (or rather ignore) all teenage boys had needs, and trying to get a private moment on a small ship containing seven people was near impossible.

Their first time, as they all jokingly referred to it, happened due to a combination of grog and a remarkably long dry spell for three of them, and the influence of the three on the other boy, leading to a cabin filled with increasingly randy and irritated boys. The room had already been spinning. Merely laying on his back in his hammock had required a lot of brain power on Usopp's part, and that was the excuse he gave for taking a leave of his senses when Sanji loomed over them, unsteady on his feet, cigarette haphazardly between his lips, and said, "Right, Shit-Heads. After that gorgeous display of Nami-Swan's body this morning my balls are about to fall off if I don't jerk off _right now_, so you Shit-Heads can either get the hell out or join me."

Without any sense of shame, or decorum, something that was quite out of character during the day for the Cook but was becoming more common during the evenings the longer he was with the crew (but only around the boys because dear Nami-swan did _not_ need to be subjected to such behaviour), Sanji gave them a grin, pulled out his cock and went at it with a happy groan.

Usopp lifted himself onto his elbows gaping at Sanji and exchanging befuddled looks with Luffy. Zoro merely snorted and turned towards the opposite wall. That lasted all of two minutes before he threw himself onto his back, shoved his pants down to his thighs and sneered at the Cook.

"First one to finish has to kiss that weird ballerina that works for Baroque Works."

"What the hell are you talking about, Marimo," Sanji snapped, his teeth grating against the cigarette in his mouth."I started before you. AND NEVER MENTION THAT FREAK OF NATURE WHILE I AM TRYING TO IMAGINE THE LOVELY NAMI-SWAN!"

Zoro shot him a shit eating grin, "not my fault if you are fast, Curly-brow," he snickered, "or if the thought of that pervert sends you over the edge."

It was on. Usopp and Luffy exchanged looks and shrugged. Sanji did seem to have a point after all. It was rather unhealthy for young men to go so long without masturbation. It was common knowledge, everyone knew it. And thus, they ended up in a loose circle, calling out insults and adding several more stains to the worn wooden floors of the Merry Go.

Of course, as it always went with the men of the Straw Hats, an argument broke out once they had come down from their afterglows. Sanji and Luffy each argued that the other had come first, and then they argued with Zoro that his challenge shouldn't count because it hadn't been agreed upon beforehand. And Zoro argued with Usopp because he agreed with Luffy and Sanji. In the end though, they went to bed satisfied, Luffy in particular who had the honor of shooting his load the farthest.

After that evening it became quite a frequent thing. The consequences for the first one to come were changed regularly, but they were always humiliating, dangerous, downright mental, but usually a combination of all three (like sneaking into Nami and Vivi's room and stealing a bra then having to wear it throughout the next day). Instead of insults, Usopp learned to shout out things that made the boys squirm in a pleasurable way. Soon after, the other boys caught on to the idea and it became a normal quest in their sessions. They'd all got quite good with the dirty talk. Usopp in particular proved his story telling extended beyond fairy tales and tall lies, reeling off particularly filthy suggestions and scenarios that often ended in a rapid fire sequence of spewing cocks and heartfelt groans.

One day, after a particularly grueling battle, they had planned a session in advanced to release some tension. Sanji had been caught with his hand down his pants in the laundry storage room by Luffy who had been going there to indulge in his secret stash of food. They stole his cigarettes, banning him from smoking them for a fortnight. This lead to the addition of admittance of prior session wanking in the last 24 hours.

And so, here they were again, cocks in their hands watching each other through half closed eyelids, seeking out the easy target. There was no underhanded squeezing to starve things off allowed. Of course, they all have their favourite handy images to bring up when they thought they were getting too close to the danger zone: Okama, walking through a haunted mansion, losing to Mihawk, no more meat left in the world, the usual.

But for now, so early in the session, they could relax and throw out a scandalous comment here and there and see who would squirm the most, perhaps make temporary alliances to send the person out.

"SO, Love-cook," Zoro began, rubbing the side of his face against his shoulder and scrunching up his nose.

Usopp and Luffy snapped their eyes over to Sanji, surveying his every move.

"According to Robin, Vivi found out firsthand that Nami is a _true _orange head. Nami was apparently spread out on her Navigation desk, skirt up to her waist and Vivi's head between her legs. Her wet panties were dangling from her bookcase."

Sanji's face was impassive, but they all know how much he got off on the thought of the two girls together, even if it was obvious that what Zoro was saying was merely a story. It was quiet in the boys room for a moment, the only sound being the slap slap of skin against skin as they fisted their erections. Then with a playful grin and a comradely look from Zoro, Usopp joined in.

"Speaking of Nami," Sanji's eyes locked on his. "I was talking to her the other day before going to bed."

"Usopp," Sanji growled, his visible curly eyebrow twitching slightly.

Luffy and Zoro watched the exchange avidly. Sanji, despite how easy it would seem to be, had not been the underdog in a while and they were eager to see his victorious streak to be put to an end. But Usopp knew that their usual material was beginning to lose its touch. There was only so many times one could explain the latest positions in _PirateBoy _before it lost its effect. He wanted to try something new.

"We were in the Navigation Room. I was working on some of my blueprints and looking over Nami's maps for her. It was nice, the sun was setting and the breeze coming through the open door was quite chilly and she was starting to shiver a bit. She had wrapped her arms around herself and leaned down to look over my shoulder as I was explaining something to her. I don't think she realised what she was doing, but her arms where cupping her breasts, you know, lifting them, and I could see how hard her nipples were through her shirt."

Usopp felt a twinge of guilt for using Nami, one of his best friends, in their sordid little game. But, well, it would _work._

"You are dead you fucking shit sniper!"Sanji warned, but he started to sweat a little, his forehead beading with little drops of perspiration.

Usopp smirked, "Just then a hard gust of wind came through the door. and lifted her skirt just a bit, enough so I caught a glimpse of her thighs an they looked," Usopp paused and gave a thoughtful hungry sigh. "They were pale and looked so soft and smooth."

Usopp chuckled softly when he heard Sanji swallow a tiny whimper.

"She caught me looking, and she blushed. I could see the red creeping down her throat and I wondered just how far the blush continued. but then she dropped one of her hands right down between her legs.. to hold her skirt down as it was rising in the wind. One hand holding her breast and the other between her legs, all I could think about right then was how she would look completely naked."

Sanji gasped and Usopp knew he had him hooked, even if he got his ass kicked for it later. He looked at the others and saw that Luffy seemed lost in his own thoughts, whereas Zoro was merely looking at Sanji with an inscrutable smile. It made Usopp suspicious of the other boy, but he paid it no mind as Zoro didn't seem to want to do whatever it was to him.

"She had turned away then, and went to close the door, but she had tripped on that loose floor board and wound up sprawled on the floor. The back of her skirt was lifted and swaying, giving me glimpses of her panties as she worked to lift herself from the floor. Her ass was thrust out a bit because she was pushing off the floor and her pushing herself off the floor gave me the perfect view of her panties. They were white and pretty, with little bits of pink lace around the edges."

They all stopped and jumped up from their hammocks when they heard Sanji fall out of his own, his nose gushing out blood. "Damn it, Sanji!"Usopp muttered to himself, slipping himself back in his pants and kneeling down next to the blonde to turn him onto his back. "I thought you had this under control!" He took his bandana from his side drawer and pressed it to Sanji's nose, "sit up and hold your head back, it doesn't look dangerous."

Sanji did as he was told, leaning against his own side drawer and holding the cloth to his nose while Usopp pushed back his hair to keep it from getting bloody.

Zoro and Luffy went to go find their resident doctor to have him give Sanji a once over just to be safe. You could never be too careful when it came to the Cook's bloody noses. With Sanji's ailment the session was called to an end and they all went back to their normal activities, after making sure the perverted cook was all right of course.

o0o

The evening ended on a peaceful note. Dinner had been delicious as always, the younger boys of the crew ran about the ship, wrestling, playing games of tag. Nami and Robin relaxed on the lawn with Zoro snoring against the mast. Brooke played his violin, a happy cheerful song that fit the evenings mood perfectly while Franky fixed the dish washing machine that Luffy broke throwing away the bones from the chicken he nicked from the storage unit that time Sanji accidentally left it open.

It was nearing midnight when the others were ready for bed that Zoro noticed that Sanji was no where to be seen. "Taking the night shift tonight, Zoro?"Usopp asked, his hand hiding his yawn as he stared blurrily at the older man.

"Ah," Zoro confirmed, patting the curly haired sniper on the back. "Good night, Usopp."

"G'night, Zoro," Usopp yawned and made his way to the Boys cabin, his curly hair bouncing as he walked down the stairs.

Zoro stood, his arms crossed as he surveyed the ship. "OI, Dart-brow!"He heard shuffling from the storage and walked towards it, slamming the door open.

Sanji turned bright red, his hand deep in his pants, "Marimo, what the fuck is your problem!?"

Zoro slipped into the room, deliberately catching the other man's eye. "I want you to come on my face," he murmured, his eyes shining sincerely, his cocky smirk in place.

Sanji gaped, the cigarette that lay between his lips almost falling to the floor in his shock. "W-what did you say, Shit-Head?" He didn't even notice the convulsive way his fist tightened and sped up along the shaft of his prick.

"I," Zoro enunciated carefully, leaning forward so that his hot breath wafted across Sanji's ear, _"want _you to _come_ on my face."

Sanji couldn't even comprehend the acrobatics his internal organs were engaging in. The adrenaline shock made his hands tremble and he couldn't even think of anything but, _what a dirty trick_, as he forcefully (shamefully) came with a startled cry.

Zoro left then, cocky smirk still on his face, making his way towards the Crow's Nest to finish his own business.

That evening, when everyone lay asleep in their beds, Sanji lay awake, his eyes staring at the wooden ceiling above him. The time in the storage room still burning brilliantly in his mind. What did Zoro mean by saying something like that? Why had he said it at all? Was it a joke or did he mean it? Then, the most important question pushed to the forefront of his mind.

_Why the hell did I like it so much?_

Quietly, Sanji rolled his head to look across to the hammock beside him. Zoro was laying on his side, his one good eye watching him carefully in the darkness. Sanji's breath hitched and he froze, the pounding in his chest seemingly loud enough to be heard.

Zoro smirked.


End file.
